Humans Pet Owners Imagine How Their Pets Would Review Them On "HumanAdvisor" And The Results Are Scathing

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kalila courban
Mar 1, 2024 11:00 AM EST

If pets could talk, there is no shortage of ridiculous things that they would say. what if our pets could leave reviews for us, their human owners? Oh boy, we can not even begin to imagine all of the scathing critiques they would have for us. Lucky for us, we don't have to imagine! A group of human pet owners has gathered together on Reddit to verbalize how their pets would review them on "human advisor" if they could, and the results are, of course, nothing short of downright hilarious. 

Some folks spoke about their cats and dogs giving them low ratings simply because they withhold treats from them, or do not allow the pets to eat until their stomachs explode... imagine that! For example: "Doesn't leave the heated blanket on all night and doesn't give me treats every time I ask. 6/10 could be better." Legitimate. Now, let's get into the rest of these silly reviews! 

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  • 01
    If pets could review their owners on HumanAdvisor, what petty complaints would they have, especially your pets?
    via u/laveniron
  • 02
    Grand-Bite-2888 21d ago ● My cat would say.... They leave me behind when they travel. True a sitter comes in and takes good care of me, but still.... They could take me with them.
    via u/Grand-Bite-2888
  • 03
    Gilsworth 21d ago ● Inconsistent, will sometimes feed on time, sometimes just lie there motionless for MINUTES past feeding time. Noisy, noisy, noisy. Always yappering and blabbering and chittering, and if they're not bellowing out their madness then they're looking at their magic window which yaps at them. Dumb. Will have a heatbox on their lap and only tap their fingers on it, and then get mad when I fully utilize the heater. Smelly. They don't even groom themselves. Rude. Won't let me sharpen
    via u/Gilsworth
  • 04
    Eternal EnergyBoy 21d ago "More snacks needed for my cute tricks"
    via u/EternalEnergyBoy
  • 05
    CrystalQueen3000 • 21d ago Mine would probably say "Doesn't leave the heated blanket on all night and doesn't give me treats every time I ask" 6/10 could be better
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
  • 06
    tatroe1 21d ago My dog would complain about how I stopped petting her to do anything
    via u/tatroe1
  • 07
    mibonitaconejito • 20d ago My bunny: 2 stars 'hoomin ok i guess but piss me awf she no lemme eat spicy hay (electrical cords). she rub my tooshy too much. will add more stars if she gives me a bananer.'
    via u/mibonitaconejito
  • 08
    blenneman05. 20d ago She'd complain that I don't spend hours giving her ear scratches AND that I sing to her too much. Shes a 5 year old orange female cat
    via u/blenneman05
  • 09
    21d ago Doesn't allow them in the shower to drink the water while I'm in there and doesn't allow them drink from the toilet. maeveomaeve
    via u/maeveomaeve
  • 10
    julia_fns 21d ago My dad's dog always demands more belly rubs whenever I stop. She mimics the movement with her paw. It doesn't matter if I've been at it for a long time, it always ends too soon for her.
    via u/julia_fns
  • 11
    Express Barnacle_174 21d ago ● "Does not allow me to eat until my stomach explodes" "Picks up poop before I can have it as a snack" (1 literally have to follow one dog right behind her in the yard, or the other two will shove their faces under her butt to grab it "fresh") "Does not understand the importance of barking just to let other dogs in the next county know you are here"
    via u/Express_Barnacle_174
  • 12
    vocabulazy. 21d ago My dog would complain that 2/3 of the time we try to walk him, it's not the time he'd prefer to go for a walk. Also, that the treats and other measures we used to try to entice him onto a walk are not good enough. He would like us to leave the lid of the food bin open. He's in his 50s now, and should be trusted to make his own choices about how much and when to eat.
    via u/vocabulazy
  • 13
    Jump4halen • 21d ago My dog would complain when I tell him he doesn't have to follow me into the bathroom. He's usually comfortable on the couch and I don't want to disrupt that just for him to come sit on the rug.
    via u/Jump4halen
  • 14
    [deleted] • 21d ago Our one cat would complain that we don't feed him enough, that we're literally starving him. (He gets breakfast & dinner along with snacks when he gets annoying enough.) Our other cat would complain that I'm not home enough to pet her and that I should be petting her 24/7 and do nothing else.
    via Reddit
  • 15
    fuyunghah. 21d ago won't let me eat his plants.. bro doesn't know what's waiting for him if he does
    via u/fuyunghah

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